CRUPISCORNER.COM

Obama Named Gun Salesman Of The Year?

2013-01-18T22:53:06Z

I Recently had a chance to fire an AR-15 Assault Rifle with a friend at a gun range in Santa Clarita, CA. The gun shop at the range was completely packed with 3 lines 8 people deep waiting to buy firearms, while just two months ago the place was empty. Joking with a friend, I quipped "Obama is going to end up on the cover of Guns & Ammo, earning the 'gun salesman of the year' award." He chuckled and spat out "Has he sold you?" To which I replied "I'm here aren't I?" Two people who heard started in, with conversation erupting all around us. Now matter where people stand on this subject, left right or middle, they all had an opinion.

Guns stocks are soaring, gun stores are selling out, and the NRA is posting record memberships.

Upon brandishing our credit cards, we were quickly hustled to the rifle range and given instruction. Twenty minutes later we were firing off rounds as quickly as the trigger could be pulled. I was completely astonished at the thundering sound the AR made, even with sound blocking ear muffs on. After taking the first shot, I put on the safety, placed the gun down and stepped away from the table. With my back to my friend, I pretended to fumble with my gloves. I was choking back the tears, because that "Kaboom!" was the last sound that those kids in Newtown heard. After a few more moments of "self torture", I decided to make an effort to, at the very least, not ruin my friend's experience. After all, we were at the range for gun safety instruction as well.

An hour later we were back to firing handguns, getting our training from the instructor, who asked to be known only as "Grant" (watch his instruction on the sidebar on getting better grip on your pistol). Instructor Grant was former military, and he was on the ground during Desert Storm. Grant projected a demeanor about him that was hard to describe. To me, he instilled a sense of relief. He's the kind of guy you hope is around when things go sideways. My shooting partner, also former military, has the same demeanor.

A recent gun show in Oxnard not only sold out 8,000 tickets, but had 2,000 more waiting to get in at the door! Conversely, last year's same event posted less than half those numbers.

When the training was completed, we made our way over to the range restaurant; which is the only place in the world where I've seen more stuffed animals than a museum. Another thing that surprised me there; dogs and kids! I am guessing they were 10-12 years old. One of them was with the owner. The range also has a bar. What a combination! I must report that the bartender did ask us if we were planning on shooting again before serving us. After having an IPA and a burger, we headed home.

An AR 15 being fired at Oak Tree Gun Club in Santa Clarita, CA, which is also selling guns at record numbers

Five days after my gun range outing, Obama called a press conference on gun control, enacting 23 measures.

The key ones which congress will have to approve are:

Requiring criminal background checks for all gun sales;
Reinstating the assault weapons ban;
Restoring a 10-round limit on ammunition magazines;
Eliminating armor-piercing bullets;
Providing mental health services in schools;
Allocating funds to hire more police officers; and
Instituting a federal gun trafficking statute

What does not require approval by congress:

Providing law enforcement officials, first responders and school officials with better training for active shooting situations

One Representative, Texas Republican Rep. Steve Stockman, vows to impeach Obama. What? This is better than going to a show! Maybe better than the Superbowl! Regardless, everyone has an opinion, and this just may be one of the few issues that exist where there is no sitting on the fence. That being said, it's time for my two cents.

Assault rifles, rented at Oak Tree Gun Club

I have a son who's 7, and there's no way in hell he'll be at a gun range until he's at least 18, probably older. I also have a republican friend who tried to convince me to enroll our kids in "gun camp". Conversely, a good friend who's worked in politics for years let it slip at a restaurant that "the president should go from house to house and confiscate every f@&king gun, period. ALL OF THEM!" He went on until his wife informed him that both the people behind him and to the left were now gazing upon him. Me? I loved it. I had an old boss, Bill Barrett, member of the original Seal Team Six, once told me "Sit on the fence and you'll be invisible the rest of your life." I respect someone who has an opinion and doesn't sit on the fence even if their opinion is the polar opposite of mine; and yes, I have an opinion too.

Although I support the Second Amendment, I see no sense in anyone other than military & police personnel possessing an assault rifle. Conversely, I believe if people feel the need to have a shotgun or a handgun for home protection, they should be allowed to have one. However, having an assault rifle simply does not make sense for home protection, and that's just me. If my kids end up diagnosed with some form of mental illness, then I should not be allowed to keep firearms of any kind in the house. How was that overlooked in these proposals? I'm all for both extensive background checks and psych evals, and that's missing too. That being said, I wonder if Newtown occurred with Bush in the Whitehouse if gun sales and NRA memberships would be posting record numbers? I doubt it, which is why I'm naming our president as gun salesman of the year.

Is Chivalry Dead On A Sinking Ship?

2012-11-09T18:45:20Z

It's been one-hundred years since Titanic sank, at 2:20 am, April 15, 1912, in the frigid waters of the North Atlantic. Coincidentally, one-hundred years later, almost to the day, the Italian liner, Costa Concordia, sank off the island of Giglio in the Mediterranean. Countless events happened with both ships during their sinking, yet if chivalry was judged solely on these two events, one might label modern society as blissfully narcissistic. So, is chivalry dead on a sinking ship?

The Titanic sinking as depicted in the movie "Night to Remember".

Despite nearly all the mysteries of the Titanic being solved, people are still fascinated. There are museums, blogs and countless other memories of the disaster available, and thanks to James Cameron, one can relive the entire sinking in 3D. Conversely, the Concordia sinking, along with what transpired after it hit the rocks is something the world wants to forget.

Officers and crew abandoned the Concordia while more than 2,000 passengers were still aboard.

The Concordia sinking eclipsed the Titanic as the biggest maritime disaster of all time based on shear tonnage. Although the Concordia carried 4,000 persons, passengers and crew, it can’t be compared to Titanic: out of 2,223 persons on board, 1,517 died. There were 30 fatalities on the Concordia, with the ship within 50 yards of land and in warm water. Several survivors swam to shore. One key difference, on the Concordia the lights went out and the ship listed dramatically, injuring and killing persons on board; this had to be terrifying whether crew or passenger. This didn’t happen on Titanic. Titanic stayed mostly level and lighted before its break-up and plunge to the bottom. Additionally, Titanic was hundreds of miles from shore and in much colder water. Comparisons don’t match at all except for ship size, numbers of passengers and crew, and how they behaved during each disaster. The crew of the Concordia could have taken lessons on chivalry from those of the Titanic.

Captain Schettino was among the first off the ship, and later refused to re-board the Concordia. A Purser coordinated the rescue effort, largely alone.

Walter Lord's book, A Night To Remember, should have been required reading for the crew of Concordia. Nearly all of the crew abandoned Concordia with passengers still aboard. Worse yet, Captain Schettino abandoned the ship with over 2,000 men, woman, children and crew members, in panic conditions, still on board. Although there was a glaring lapse of humanity on Concordia, by comparison; the Titanic disaster was not without frailty.

A collapsible boat full of survivors from the Titanic, which means they were among the last to leave the ship alive.

The Titanic too had villains during its sinking: like passenger Edward Ryan donning a shawl to disguise himself as a woman, grabbing a little girl and jumping into a lifeboat ahead of many women and children to save himself.

J. Bruce Ismay (above) was witnessed ordering Captain Smith to increase speed through the ice field (which he later denied). Ismay later forced his way into a lifeboat. Theorists speculate that Titanic might be a floating museum today had Ismay not pressured the captain.

The most notable villain of Titanic was J. Bruce Ismay, Chairman of White Star Line, owner of Titanic. He abruptly hopped into a lifeboat ahead of men, women and children. Ironic, since he was witnessed ordering Captain Smith to increase speed just after Smith handed him a telegram warning of "severe ice fields ahead." Ismay survived, but was vilified by the press and his elite social class for the remainder of his life; he resigned as chairman of White Star Line a year later. Once a common fixture at his wife's enormous monthly Bridge parties, he did not attend them after the disaster, and did not appear at any public event for the rest of his life. One of the wealthiest men in the world, Ismay died in seclusion and disgrace of a stroke in 1937; his obituary cited his involvement in the Titanic disaster.

Benjamin Guggenheim (above) helped load women and children into lifeboats & had enough time to write two letters, one to his wife, and one to his mistress.

Despite the ugly side of humanity on that night, there were countless tales of bravery and heroism as well. Shortly after the Titanic struck the Iceberg, Benjamin Guggenheim was told his personal valet, Victor Giglio, would not be allowed to enter a lifeboat because of his mixed race (Italian father and Egyptian mother). Guggenheim refused to leave him behind. The two adorned tuxedos, grabbing deck chairs and situated themselves just inside the grand central staircase heavily fortified with cigars and cognac obtained from the first class smoking room. During these final moments, several passengers interacted with them, which is how we know where they were and what they were doing.

The only known picture of the iceberg struck by Titanic

Guggenheim was famously quoted as saying, "we've dressed in our best and we'll go down like gentlemen.... No woman shall be left aboard this ship because Ben Guggenheim was a coward.” Ben wrote two letters while in the first class smoking room, one to his wife stating, “I did my best in doing my duty,” after sending off his gorgeous 19 year old French mistress onto a lifeboat. What it would have been like to have been a fly on the wall when Mrs. Guggenheim opened that letter, having learned of his affair via media attention. Ben Guggenheim was not necessarily a hero, but died with dignity. Heroes were not in short supply on that night aboard the Titanic.

First class smoking lounge (above), where Guggenheim & Giglio were toward the end. They smoked cigars and drank cognac. This is where Guggenheim wrote his final message to his wife.

Second class smoking lounge (above), where Remy Martin VSOP was freely flowing in those final hours aboard Titanic

Third class smoking room, looking more like a bus station, complete with benches.

It is more likely that Victor Giglio and Ben Guggenheim sat alone in the first class smoking room while he wrote two brief letters. What we do know is that several passengers came and went from the lounge, raiding it of cigars and cognac.

Officer Murdoch (above), who kept strict order at the Titanic's lifeboats via wielding a pistol, turned the gun on himself after shooting two unwieldy passengers.

One of the most notable heroes tried to steer the doomed ship around the iceberg: First Officer William Murdoch. Not succeeding, he spent his final moments loading passengers into lifeboats; later shooting two cowardice men rushing a lifeboat while woman and children were waiting to board. Murdoch later turned the gun on himself as the last lifeboat was being lowered at his post, however there are conflicting accounts of this happening. In Walter Lord's The Night Lives On, he discovers testimony from two passengers who did not know each other give "...strikingly similar accounts from completely independent sources." Lord prints excerpts from a letter written by George Rheims, first class passenger directly:

"While the last boat was leaving, I saw an officer with a revolver fire a shot and kill a man who was trying to climb into it. As there remained nothing more for him to do, the officer told us, 'Gentleman, each man for himself, Good-bye.' He gave a military salute and then fired a bullet into his head. That's what I call a man!!!"

Lord also includes an excerpt from Third class passenger Eugene Daly:

"At the first cabin [deck] when a boat was being lowered an officer pointed a revolver and said if any man tried to get in, he would be shot on the spot. I saw the officer shoot two men dead because they tried to get in the boat. Afterwards there was another shot, and I saw the officer himself lying on the deck. They told me he shot himself, but I did not see him [shoot himself]. I was up to my knees in water at the time. Everyone was rushing around, and there were no more boats. I then dived overboard."

As it turns out, several officers fired shots. Officer Lowe was lowering a boat while some steerage passengers attempted to jump into it, and Lowe fired shots "alongside the boat." Purser McElroy, after loading the last boat also fired shots into the air as passengers rushed it. Again, there was plently of conficting accounts regarding gunshots. There is also no shortage of conflicting testimony as to what the captain was doing, and where he was at the end.

Captain Smith, despite varying accounts, spent his final moments on the bridge, shouting commands through a bulhorn from the bridge of the ship. As all the commotion was going on, the crew was performing a variety of duties; filling boats with people, throwing deck chairs overboard for flotation, giving out life jackets, bottles of brandy, loaves of bread...the list goes on.

Charles Lightoller, one of the biggest hero's of the Titanic, later gave his account on a radio show in 1936. Click here to listen to the only recording in existence by Charles Lightoller.

Titanic's Second Officer Charles Lightoller had been ordered at one point to enter a lifeboat by Captain Smith. He refused, and instead stayed at his post until the bow of the ship was a full two feet under water. As the other passengers and crew ran in terror to the stern, he stayed at the bow of the ship, lowering the last collapsible lifeboats. Lightoller was later pinned against a grate of the forward smokestack as it sucked in water. He was trapped and drowning a full two feet under water, and had resolved himself to die when an explosion from below decks thrust water outward, freeing him. He survived by clinging to an overturned lifeboat he had tried to free from the ship earlier. Lightoller later testified after that the Titanic fell victim to a chain of events that could happen only once in a hundred years. Conversely, the Concordia sank due to a simple error in judgment and arrogance of the captain.

Officers of Titanic. Back Row: Herbert McElroy, Charles Lightoller, Herbert Pitman, Joseph Boxhall, Harold Lowe Seated: James Moody, Henry Wilde, Capt. Edward Smith, William Murdoch. Lightoller was demoted to 2nd officer just before Titanic's final voyage, yet his replacement, Chief Officer Wilde (bottom, second from the left), was largely absent during the entire sinking.

Father Thomas Byles (above). Despite being offered multiple times to enter a lifeboat, Byles chose to stay aboard Titanic, reciting prayer and taking confession.

As people milled about on the decks of Titanic, they were heavily fortifying themselves with cognac, since it was thought (falsely) at the time that alcohol consumption kept one warmer in cold water. Cigars were in abundance as well on the ship, as John Jacob Astor himself was seen roaming the decks with a cigar in his mouth just after being turned away from entering a lifeboat.

John Jacob Astor IV (above) was most likely crushed by the smoke funnel which missed Lightoller, by his account, "inches". His body was found with $2,000 in cash in his pockets.

With all the exploitation and fascination surrounding Titanic, it’s interesting to speculate what passengers stranded on board were eating, drinking and smoking in those final hours? Long after the final dinner, those stranded souls had nearly a full two hours to contemplate the end (click for timeline); with all passengers fully aware of what was coming once the water line breached the front deck on the bow. Admittedly, it is completely ridiculous to focus on the minutia for such a horrific event, but I can not help but wonder not just what passengers ate but what brand of cognac they were drinking; and for that matter what brand of cigars they were smoking?

First class dining menu on April 14, 1812; and it can be yours for a mere $150,000.

In early 1912, one of the best cognacs in the world, Martell Cordon Blue was unveiled. Remy Martin XO was also available and was (and still is) the most popular luxury cognac in the world. It is more likely that Remy Martin XO was on board, seeing at the time it was the most sought after, and most available premium cognac. It's taste: Notes of Vanilla on the nose and flavors of brioche, orange fruit. Smooth. Delicious. A less expensive cognac, the Remy VSOP is good and was more likely the cognac served in second class aboard Titanic. Its taste: slight almond and a pinch of spice. If you need a break from scotch, this would be a nice alternative. If you are a newbie to cognac and want to learn more, check out The Cognac Expert. More than likely, Guggenheim was drinking Remy Martin XO, but what cigar was he smoking?

As Guggenheim and other passengers were contemplating the end in first class, they were heavily fortifying themselves with Remy Martin XO. Remy Martin XO was very popular in 1912. Other libations include Sanka Coffee, Bass Ale, Gran Marnier, Heidsiech & Co Monopole Blue Top Champagne Brut, Berry & Bros. Scotch (unavailable but tasting profile is perfect match with Glenfiddich 15 Year Solera Reserve). What mixed drinks were served on Titanic? Popular drinks served aboard Titanic included Champagne Cocktail, Manhattan, Martini, and a Brandi Crusta.

Colonel Archibald Gracie (above) is credited with the most horrifically detailed account of a wave washing hundreds of people off the bow of the ship. "Then the wave came and struck us, the water came and struck us, and then I rose as I would rise in bathing in the surf, and I gave a jump with the water, which took me right on the hurricane deck, and around that was an iron railing, and I grabbed that iron railing and held tight to it, and looked around, and the same wave which saved me engulfed everybody around me. I turned to the right and left and looked...and I could not see any of this vast mass of humanity. They had all disappeared."

There were several cigars on the manifest aboard Titanic, but the only premium hand rolled cigar listed was BockY CA. Like Remy Martin cognacs, Bock cigars were the most popular and best selling premium cigars in the world from 1850 to 1950, and Titanic had them on board in 1912.

Remy Martin VSOP, the bottle sweating as if it had just been plucked from the bottom where Titanic was laid to rest. Remy VSOP was most likely served in the second class smoking room.

Bock was also the very first cigar to sport a band, which was a marketing effort to differentiate it, and was masterminded by Gustov Bock. This was a new discovery as most people thought the band was an etiquette reminder to stop smoking when smoked to the band. The Bock Robusto is still in circulation: a typical sweet maduro, without much complexity. Both the novelty and history of this cigar make it a "1st" cigar of the night if you are smoking three (with the first being your best): Medium in flavor, sweet spice and hints of vanilla. If the stick had any other name on the band, this would be an enjoyable "2nd" cigar of the night. Despite this cigar being the only listed premium cigar on the manifest for Titanic, there are mixed reviews as to exactly what brand was being smoked.

Jack Thayer, 17, jumped from the stern as it was 12 feet above the water. He was one of only 40 people pulled alive from the icy 28 degree water. Thayer is credited with having a vivid account of the actual sinking from the stern of Titanic. Picture courtesy of the TITANIC HISTORICAL SOCIETY INC.

According to Tony Hyman, Curator of the National History of Cigars Museum, regarding what was smoked on Titanic; does not agree with Bock cigars being smoked on Titanic. Mr. Hyman believes that the cigars aboard could have been brought in by 1st class passengers via their humidors. According to Tony, "They would probably smoke PUNCH or EL REY DEL MUNDO, then the worlds most expensive brand of cigar". Given the fact that Guggenheim was known as a big cigar smoker, he probably smoked the Punch as it had a bigger kick than El Rey Del Mundo. So it seemed only fitting to light up a Punch Gran Puro while writing this blog. This historical cigar is spicy in flavor with just a slight hint vanilla. By all measures this cigar is a "First" cigar; with your best being smoked first, second best being smoked second....and so on.

Captain Smith's cigar humidor was discovered last year and sold for $40,000 at auction. He was fond of cuban cigars and liked to smoke in absolute peace and quiet in his study.

The infamous drunk cook, Charles Joughin, known as "The man who somehow drank his way though the Titanic disaster and lived to tell the tale". Joughin raided the kitchen of cognac, got drunk in his stateroom and survived for three hours in the icy ocean. His character had a brief role in the motion picture Titanic.

Having downed three glasses of cognac while tugging away at a Punch, has washed away any guilt for exploiting the Titanic tragedy; or for comparing it with the Costa Concordia. The people on Titanic were facing certain death while many of those on Concordia were not, different circumstances, but not less terrifying. All were tested in their humanity. Do we fault Edward Ryan for dressing like a woman trying to save his own life aboard the Titanic? Maybe not: Ryan later married and raised a family. Looking at both events, disaster could have been avoided by one man making the right decision. What about J. Bruce Ismay? He was vilified into obscurity. Had Ismay not ordered Captain Smith to proceed through the ice field, Titanic very well could have been a floating museum today. Can we forgive Schettino on the Concordia? Had he not ordered the Concordia so close to shore, she’d still be afloat.

Survivors recall that Titanic's stern dipped below the water so slowly that many stepped off the rails as she went underwater.

Most of us live our whole lives without being truly tested in our humanity. So, is chivalry dead on a sinking ship? Anyone can say what they would do if given the Titanic Test, but there is only one way to know.

Epilogue: Want to know what happened to the survivors after the Titanic sinking? Click here.

Special thanks to my editor, Mr. Joe Verwiel (above). Not only is he a great father-in-law who constantly encourages me to write, but Joe is an acclaimed published author

and you can order his well reviewed book, Heaven Sake on Amazon.

First Indoor Cigar Smoking Event In LA Since "Big Smoke 1995" Breaks All The Rules

2012-10-30T01:21:23Z

A friend of mine invited me to a sold out cigar dinner event recently in Tujunga, CA, in honor of Avo Uyezian of Avo Cigars. We had no idea what was in store for the evening; stunning models, free flowing Johnny Walker Black, Hennessy Cognac, Vino, and indoor cigar smoking. What? Indoor Cigar smoking in CA has been banned for 17 years. The theme for the event should have been "Party Like It's 1995".

Although these beautiful ladies were readily available for photo opportunities,
they were largely ignored.

Everything about the Avo Cigar Dinner event was over the top and so was it's sponsor's dinner speech.

Models dancing after dinner. Click to see them dancing

Anto Kamarian, owner of Cigars by Chivas Pasadena California, sponsored the Avo Cigar event. Charismatic and poignant, he welcomed the crowd of over 400 with a story about being approached by an "anti-smoking Nazi" in Monterey. Anto was smoking outside, and a woman chided him for doing so, "You know that smoke is killing everyone around you, would you stop killing us...?" To which Anto replied, "Tomorrow, I promise I will wake up and stop killing people". Avo pauses and says, "I deliberately waited just long enough to see the smirk on her face, and then I told her 'but YOU will wake up tomorrow and still be an UGLY BITCH!". Of course, the crowd went crazy, because in this place, no was going to gaze upon those lighting up as if they were "the dog faced boy" at the circus.

Doubtful that Anto Kamarian would have reacted the same way
had he been approached by this Cigar Smoking Nazi. No offense meant for the picture.

The Great Caesar Banquet Hall in Tujunga, CA, just prior to the Cigars By Chivas Smoking Event.
Click to see video of the event

The fact that the banquet hall allowed smoking inside despite California having strict anti-smoking laws was as amusing as the event itself. The Orange County Register, in an article from 2011 describes the anti-smoking law, "The 1994 law... also exempts smoking in dining areas." So how the hell did Anto Kamarian get away with it? He has not responded to our requests for comment.

Avo Uyezian of Avo Cigars with Author Michael Crupi

Personally I think Mr. Kamarian is a risk taker, seeing that the penalty for indoor smoking is $500 per person; at 400 people, that's $200,000. This makes Mr. Kamarian my new hero. It's been 17 years since there was an indoor cigar smoking event in Los Angeles. Special thanks to Mr. Kamarian for letting at least 400 people party like it's 1995.

Commercial Flight Faux Pas - Men Are Idiots

2012-08-23T17:38:52Z

The dread and discomfort of flying coach on today’s commercial airlines seems to me to be created mainly by the male species. Many of them seem to lack even the basic etiquette, and to care about nobody but themselves and their needs. If you’re flying up front it’s usually not as noticeable, but when you’re flying with the family you’re usually stuck back in coach. Most of the Faux Paus are committed by idiots; mostly men! Not all of them of course, but all the idiots seem to be men. If you weren't sure if you behaved like an idiot, read on. You can be saved. There's still time brother!

This moron is a double whammy; not only the dirty feet being rubbed into the bulkhead but sporting those bell bottom jeans (explains everything). Really?

We have all had a flight from hell from time to time, but over the last 15 years of flying I noticed something that some might interpret as sexist. When it comes to flying on commercial airlines, men are idiots, and I can prove it.

On one recent flight, about a 17 year old kid in front of me grabbed the back of his seat to maintain balance while getting up. It sent the drink on my fold-out table onto my lap. Even though he witnessed the entire incident, he proceeded to the bathroom without saying a word. An hour or so later, the senior citizen sitting behind me grabbed my headrest abruptly with both hands while getting up. He grabbed it so fiercely that it snapped my head forward. In the process, one of the fingers on his left hand scraped my ear. He sauntered down the aisle, seemingly unaware that he just forced a fellow passenger's head hard enough to mimic a frame from the “Zapruder” film (JFK assignation film. No offense to JFK fans).

Usually at the end of a flight when the captain announces, “We’ll be landing shortly…place all seats in the upright position,” one feels a sense of relief with the flight coming to an end. No relief here, the only person on the whole 767 who left his seat fully reclined was sitting in front of me. I waited ten minutes, then leaned forward and asked him to oblige. The kid rolled his eyes and grunted as if I stole his lunch. Really?

Entering the bathroom on the same flight, I discovered a senior had left a sizable present for me. Additionally, he had filled up the entire sink with water and left it full. Two hours later, the same thing happened again, different senior, leaving another mess, but clogged the toilet. When I informed the flight attendant, he looked at me like I had beat up his kid brother. At that point I could hear Rod Serling in my head, spouting lines from the “Twilight Zone,” except it wasn't Shatner sputtering on about a Gargoyle on the wing. It was a passenger (me) being falsely persecuted for leaving a dooker in the can. Rhetorical question, but what are the odds this happens twice on the same flight? Time to buy a lottery ticket! All of the aforementioned issues happened on the same flight, but there are countless other "experiences" I've had over the years.

On another flight, a large man with an enormous boil on his lip would not stop talking to me. He was holding a handkerchief against it, and kept removing it so he could gaze in awe at the mixture of ooze and blood. It was almost like he was proud of it. Needless to say, I did not eat at all on that flight.

On another flight, the three seats to my left were occupied by a family and their kids; the parents proceeded to behave as if they are the only ones on the plane: the father played a Disney movie at full blast for his kids on a laptop while mom smilingly eyed her baby girl grabbing at a sleeping mans ear. The sleeper kept opening one eye in protest, but the mom smiled at him thinking her kid was cute, despite the fact the kid kept waking the poor guy up. Then the dad decided to do commentary on the Disney movie like an announcer at a football game. Actually he was pretty good, and, like the scotch, this kind of took the edge off things for a little while.

Most kids are better behaved in their flight etiquette than their adult parents!

On a flight from coast to coast, the man next to my right decides to rip the flight attendant a new one because he had to pay $5 for headphones; he was yelling across me at her. Trying to be subtle, I hand him a fiver and told him the movie was on me. It was like throwing gasoline on a fire, causing him to ramp up and start spouting all over again. "It's the point here...!" he screamed. Unfortunately, his mental horsepower meter was low; as my offer did not embarrass him at all, and he readily accepted it. Special thanks to the United Flight attendant who gave me a bottle of wine at the end of the flight for playing the arbitrator.

About every third flight there is the guy who decides to spread his legs like a wrestler for 5 hours. That same guy takes the arm rest to his right then takes yours too. In addition, his shoes are off, and he's rubbing them into the bulkhead while sitting next to you. The odor is slight; just enough to bring the onset of nausea.

Speaking of nausea, there is always that moment when someone fills the cabin with their Ass; the intensity of which is measured by what I call "the audible meter". If more than one person groans in reaction to the gaseous stench, it's a 10 (highest on the audible meter). No proof here that it's a guy, but I'd still place my money that the culprit is a dude. Then there is the guy who dumps his finished lunch tray on the middle fold-down for you to pass to the flight attendant. Then there is the moron who opens his window shade and falls asleep while the movie is playing, illuminating the cabin with enough light to white out the digital movie that half the plane is watching. Enough!

The only Flight Faux Pas (other than the mom who's kid is pulling at a sleeper's ear) by a woman that I remember was the girlfriend of the guy who fell asleep. Instead of closing the window shade and using her overhead light, she decided to begin writing in her "Thoughts by Jack Handy" therapy journal.

Lastly, on nearly every flight there is always one "Serial Abuser" who simply makes every effort to degrade the flight attendants; making the flight miserable for those around him, and certainly not improving the disposition of the flight crew on a busy flight for the rest of us. Oh, and by the way, your flight attendant serves you your meal. Imagine all the creative things that could be done for reckoning. I know of one flight attendant who discreetly flavored dinner rolls by rubbing them on certain body parts before serving them to an irate passenger. Enough said about the flight crew, they are not the problem, we (men) are.

Here's my question, where the hell do all these guys come from? Wisconsin? This is not etiquette that really needs to be taught. It's what I call assumed etiquette, and just thinking of others. Again, it’s mostly dudes. So, impress your girlfriend, flight attendant, boyfriend and fellow passengers who are with you in the usually crowded coach section with the following:

Do not spread your legs. Your wrestling days ended with high school.
Close your window shade for entire flight (unless you are flying the plane).
Unless you want to reenact the Zapruder film, use your armrests when getting up; not the headrest in front of you or the back of your seat.
If you have gas, get up off your fat kisser and use the bathroom.
Do not take off your shoes unless you are a supermodel.
If you have "oozing fluids", cover them with a bandage before getting on a plane.
Do not keep your seat fully pushed back for the whole flight.
Flush when finished in the bathroom, empty the sink of water and clean it.
Buy over-the-ear-headsets for your kids; and bring enough kid videos (iPads, DVD Player) for the whole flight.
You are the only one who thinks it's cute when your kid kicks the seat in front or grabs a sleeping man's ear.
If you break etiquette, own up to it and be sincere.
Treat your flight attendant as if she walked on water. This can only benefit you and everyone else/
Use the call button for urgencies only.
If the middle seat is open, ask to place your stuff, or ask to share it.
Take only one armrest unless the seat next to you is empty.
If you take an armrest while next to someone, ask, or share it.

Want to read about some really gross stuff people do on planes? Check out this site called Jaunted. Some of the candid photos of people doing stuff on planes will make you laugh out loud. So, are you an idiot? Fortunately, if you weren't sure if you were and idiot and you've read this article, you've been saved. Remember, There's still time brother!

Cigarology - Max Out Your Stick

2012-07-07T01:17:49Z

Having visited hundreds of cigar lounges over the years, one tends to learn "Cigarology" by default, which is why friends often ask about cigar etiquette and maximum smoking technique. A friend of mine was recently asked if he was an avid cigar smoker during a "mancave poker" tournament event, "twenty years" he responded. Upon being handed a $26 Cuban, he proceeded to "hot box" the cigar, lighting it so fast and furious that his head disappeared in a plume of smoke. Ten minutes later he was complaining about the cigar "burning hot" and asked me for another one. This time he was handed a $3 cigar, and it was casually mentioned that he light the "stick" slower to avoid it from burning hot. He loved the stick so much he ordered a box and now smokes cigars daily (much to his wife's disdain).

Recognize her? Her photos holding cigars made her famous.

It was also a surprise when another friend who witnessed the hot boxing incident (whom I thought to be an aficionado) later privately asked me to show him how to light up. He was spending hundreds on sticks and just wanted to get the most out of each and every cigar. Well, if you are one of those people who own a humidor and smoke cigars, you know it can be an expensive habit, so here are some pitfalls along with tips to avoid them.

The author smoking in his living room, and his wife still won't talk to him for lighting up inside. Lesson well learned.

Not everyone smokes it to a nub.

Pitfalls:

Wrapper unfurls - Clipping too high on the cap
Hot Boxing - Lighting too fast, tugging too hard and too often.
Canoeing - Tugging so frequently the Tobacco burns straight through the middle, making the cigar burn hot too quickly.
Uneven burn - Under or over humidified cigar.
Flicking your ash - Makes the cigar burn hotter.
Letting your cigar "lay with the ash" in the ash tray while lit.
Relighting after it goes out, tasting like ash.

Don't try this at home!

Tips for a better smoke:

The cap has three lines. Clip it just after the second line in and it won't unfurl. As you begin to clip your cigar, rotate a quarter turn to obtain a cleaner cut.
Torching - Use a Torch (not a standard lighter) and light the cigar's outer edge, (known as "the foot") as you roll the stick slowly in your hands for one minute prior to tugging on it.
Do not flick the ash! - Part of the art of smoking is to get a big ash going. It keeps the stick burning cooler & longer.
Hold the cigar "ash up" as to avoid excessive tar and nicotine from traveling up the middle, hence minimize the chances of the cigar from tasting like ash.
Invest in an ash tray designed for the cigar so it's elevated and does not "lay with the ash".
When it starts to burn hot or taste like ash, get rid of it. The cigar is it's own filter. All of the tar and nicotine are slowly building up as you smoke. So when it starts to burn hot, it's done.
If your stick has burned for more than an inch and it goes out, it's done. Move on.

Admittedly, for years I was guilty of committing some of the pitfalls myself until I ran into whom I will call the Yoda of Cigarology, Mr. Larry Wagner, Proprietor of the Cigar Warehouse in Sherman Oaks, CA. Thanks to Larry's teachings, my cigar's flavor lasts longer and lighting up is more fun.

Special thanks to my editor, Mr. Joe Verwiel (above). Not only is he a great father-in-law who constantly encourages me to write, but Joe is an acclaimed published author

and you can order his well reviewed book, Heaven Sake on Amazon.

The Haunting Of Howard Hughes

2012-03-02T20:14:48Z

The Pantages Theatre in Hollywood is the most famous theatre in Los Angeles and one of the most famous anywhere. The Pantages was a favorite of Howard Hughes—he owned it in 1949 and had his exclusive executive offices on the second floor. Hughes died in 1976 and apparently still frequents the Pantages. His appearance was noted at a recent event I attended there in February, 2012.

The Pantages in the 1950's, host to the Academy Awards

Imagine attending your favorite show at the world famous Pantages with thousands of patrons, a truly wonderful experience. Now visualize an exclusive fundraiser for a handful of people: where the Pantages itself is the attraction. Imagine lighting up your favorite cigar and later coming face to face with the ghost of Howard Hughes.

The event was aimed to aid a local church group. 70 attendees were invited to gather money for the needs of the school operated by the church. There were many benefactors: Individuals and Companies donated wine, cheese, hotel stays, dinners, and even show tickets to the Pantages. But perhaps the most impressive benefactor (besides the Pantages itself) was General Cigar Company, a company famous for its fine cigars.

Left to right; Lana Fraser, Events Manager, General Cigar Company, Jef Loeb, Associate General Manager, Pantages Theatre & Auction Event Organizer, and fundraiser attendee

Lana Fraser, Events Manager for General Cigar, attended the event in person. I, and several friends, originally met Lana last year at a cigar event in central California called “Crush & Roll.” We were a bunch of rambunctious men trying to score free sticks—what everyone at the event was trying to do. Lana somehow tolerated our "cigar advances," which is why I nearly fell out of my chair when she agreed to attend the fundraiser at the Pantages.

Lana not only brought cigars, she also brought an entire display station, and provided cut and light service for all the attendees. The cigars she brought were top notch, Partagas Black, Partagas Spanish Rosado and more. None of us could believe that we were graced with the presence of General Cigar, which is unarguably one of the best cigar companies in the world.

Funny thing about fundraisers: where there is Alcohol, people spend money. After bidding a total of $7,000 on the various items offered, attendees began making their way to the cigar table. At one point there were 20 or so men and women who, after bidding on items like a two day stay at the Magic Castle in Hollywood, decided to light up. Several of the ladies enjoyed the novelty of smoking and were especially fond of some of the flavored CAO cigars, while the guys tugged on perhaps General Cigar’s most sought after blend, The Partagas Black. Despite the festivities which we all enjoyed and will not soon forget, two attending patrons had strange encounters which they will never forget. I believe these encounters may have been triggered by cigar smoke.

One of the attendees, after extinguishing his cigar, made his way to a dimly lit, empty restroom. While inside, he watched, in the mirror, a door to one of the stalls creak slowly open. “Nice one,” the man stated, “but you’ll have to do better than that.” With that the stall door slammed loudly shut. Thinking he was the butt of a practical joke, the man approached the stall to "out" the Practical Joker. When he opened the door, the stall was empty, and so were the all the others. Unnerved and shaken, he ran out the bathroom, up the steps, and proceeded to gulp large quantities of Proseccio wine. He confessed he did not actually see anything, but he noted, “the hair stood up on my neck and I felt a very cold draft in the room.” This attendee is a Fortune 500 executive, and requested he not be identified, yet there was another executive who was quite comfortable making himself known.

The Pantages lobby. Just to the left of the staircase leads to downstairs Men's Room.

Another attendee, also a cigar smoker, snuck his way down to the bar inside the Pantages around 11pm. The area was completely deserted, and he decided the cushioned lined benches against the wall were a great place to sneak a quick nap and dozed off. He was awakened by someone gently shaking his shoulders. When he opened his eyes, a man had his face directly in his and asked, "Do you work here?" "Yes," he annoyingly replied and closed his eyes. When he opened them a moment later there was no one there. Unable to sleep again, he got up and returned to the party ten minutes later. The following week, he sent me a picture of the man who woke him. It was Howard Hughes.

An attendee claims he was awakened by this man, Howard Hughes,

nearly 27 years after his death.

In the years since his death in 1976, several employees of the Pantages have reported seeing the ghost of Howard Hughes, and some have said they could even smell the cigars that he smoked in his office.

Read more Pantages ghost stories at Yahoo Voices: a-guide-haunted-theaters-hollywood-california

Cigar Recon: Costco Putting Cigar Retailers Out Of Business?

2012-02-24T22:37:32Z

Costco has been occasionally selling premium cigars experimentally since April of 2007. For the second time this year, they have set up a 7 ft. humidor wedged between the Scotch section in our local store (Vany Nuys, CA) with several well known premiums to choose from.

The question here is, will the aficionado buy from here, continue to visit their cigar retailer or simply buy online? One thing is for sure, Costco made it easier to purchase these sticks. Convenience is what made Costco famous. Now you can buy scotch, steak, TV's and cigars in the same place. I love Costco. The wife suggests when I'm having a bad day, "Why don't you go to Costco and buy something under $150?". She suggest this dollar amount because she thinks $150 is the average cost of a therapy session. Alrighty then. So is Costco taking down either your local cigar boutique, internet retailer or both?

Humidor is perfectly wedged between Dewar's and Johnny Walker Black. Brilliant.

The real threat here is not so much to cigar lounge boutiques across the country, but more so to the internet retailer who offers these sticks at steep discounts. For example, the Montecristo 2000 Habana Collection (far right in photo below) can be found online at smokes-spirits for $49.49. For a few pennies more, one can buy this at Costco during their grocery shopping, thus avoiding the standard $5 shipping. The Romeo Y Julieta Dominican sampler (middle photo) can be found at Mikes Cigars at about the same price. Since I have yet to smoke this stick, I will quote Mike's directly "The Montecristo Habana 2000 is perfect cigar for the discriminating smoker. Wrapped in a super-spicy, chocolate brown wrapper you’re getting a succulent full flavor stogie, with peppery core and a robust finish." Lastly, the Romeo Y Julieta Silver Sampler (far left) can also be found for $49.95 at JR Cigars. I have smoked most of the cigars in the Romeo Julieta sampler and they were all delicious. Perhaps one of the most consistent brands, I have never smoked a a Romeo Julieta that was less than excellent in flavor.

Romeo Y Julietta, Montecristo Cigars now at Costco

The Montecristo Afrique Platinum series could not be found online, but there were similar samplers for about the same price on these. The reviews on this cigar (Afrique) are among the best I have ever seen on any cigar.

Montecristo AFRIQUE are among the best reviewed cigars in the world

The owner of my local cigar lounge (who wishes not to be identified) viewed these and said that he believes that these are discontinued samplers, which is why they have made their way to Costco. However, all but one of these samplers were easily found online, and are also available at my local cigar retailer, the Warehouse in Sherman Oaks, CA. So now when I am in need of "therapy" on my next Costco trip I can buy a steak, cigars and scotch; grill up, smoke up and drink up all for under $150. What a bargain.

From Couch to Congress

2012-01-15T18:43:49Z

A year ago I was strolling down Third Street Promenade in Santa Monica smoking a Nub. A police officer approached me, tapping my arm as he loudly said, "Hey kid, you can put out that cigar or you can take home a $200 ticket." Maybe I got this guy on a bad day, but his approach was both intrusive and abrasive. Enough was enough, but I didn’t take the ticket. Reluctantly, I put the Nub out and decided then and there to join Cigar Rights of America (CRA).

If anyone had told me prior to that day that I would join CRA and later meet with a member of Congress to defend our rights I would have laughed them off as crazy, but there I was, telling my story to Congresswoman Roybal-Allard, and she was listening intently. The reason for the meeting? The FDA had announced in April that they were intending to regulate premium cigars, possibly as soon as February 2012.

From left to right, Eddie D. Tafoya Executive Director, the Commerce Industrial Council, Brian Berman, Director, CRA, Keith K. Park CEO of Prometheus and God of Fire, Attorney Nick Politis, and myself at the post congress meeting at the Omni Hotel in downtown Los Angeles.

Once the FDA takes command, regulation will require nicotine levels be reduced to near zero, ban all walk in humidors at cigar shops, ban online sales of cigars, ban all flavored cigars, force all blends to be tested and approved by the FDA prior to release and, here's the kicker, impose a new tax on all cigar manufacturers to pay for FDA regulatory procedures.

Such regulatory involvement will result in "watered down" versions of your favorite cigar, and push buyers right into the black market. Can you say prohibition? HR bill 1639 puts a stop to FDA regulation, and we needed Congresswoman Royball-Allard to show her support by co-signing the bill.

Cigar Rights of America invited me to attend the meeting along with Brian Berman, Membership Director of CRA, Keith K. Park, CEO of Prometheus and God of Fire, and Attorney Nick Politis. The four of us took turns pleading our case against FDA regulation. Brian was well prepared. He brought a small box of machine made Strawberry flavored Philly Blunts ($3), laying then down next to a box of 10 God of Fire Churchills ($260). The Philly's were comprised of shredded, treated, processed, and additive laden tobacco, while the God of Fire Chuchills were hand-rolled from rare long leaf natural tobacco blends. The congresswoman kept us there for nearly two hours. As our presentation concluded, she warned the danger lay in machine made cigars being incorrectly "lumped in" with premium cigars, or machine cigar manufacturers attempting to present themselves as being in the premium cigar category.

The congresswoman was right, a month after our meeting, a letter was sent to congress from the American Cancer Society, urging them to regulate premium cigars, "We are particularly concerned about the wide range of products that would likely be exempted from any regulation under the bill, including Swisher Sweets, Sweet Chocolate Blunts, Phillies, Sugarillos Cigarillos (described on the box as “when sweet isn’t enough!”), White Owl grape Blunts Xtra, and Optimo peach Blunts. These products come in flavors and are among the most popular with youth." Not only did The American Cancer Society mistake machine made cigars as premiums, but mistakenly assumed the machine made cigars would be exempted under HR 1639.

In the last four months, over 150,000 couch potatoes just like me visited the CRA website, signing an online petition which was sent directly to their local member of congress. If you have not done so, please visit CRA. With the click of a button and 30 seconds of your time, you can have a voice. Who knows, you might end up going from couch to congress.

More Freedom? Cigars? Booze? Lose The Ring!

2011-12-15T01:57:28Z

Okay, it's not exactly what you think. One day while sitting on the front steps of my abode, sipping Arrogant Bastard Ale and tugging on a La Flor Dominicana Cameroon, I lost my wedding ring. At the time, smoking cigars in the house was off-limits and smoking outside while the kids were around required the wife to be on extra kid duty, resulting in low WAF (Wife Acceptance Factor). Unfortunately, what I did after searching for the ring not only had a low WAF but nearly pushed the wife to pack my bags. What a nightmare!

So how did I lose this ring? I had given it to my three year old son, who loved to wear it on his thumb and dance around the yard. While Ronan (3 years old) was putting on his "show" in the front yard, the dogs got into a scuffle with a squirrel in the back yard. The commotion caused me to look away for three seconds. When I looked back, there was my boy, arms held upward with that "I lost it" gesture on his face. He then pointed to a tuft of grass; I knew instantly the ring was gone.

My son Ronan, shortly after proclaiming he lost my wedding ring

After two days of raking the yard in crisscrossing patterns, I turned to Amazon and purchased a metal detector. Once it arrived, I spent the next two weeks again crisscrossing the front yard with the detector. This daily ritual included a beer in one hand, metal detector in the other, cigar in mouth and big gaudy metal detector headphones in place on my head. Oh! and cut-off jeans with an old T-shirt brought the trailer park trash look to completion. One of the neighbors later admitted when she saw me out there each day that she thought I was having some type of mental breakdown. In truth, I was having the time of my life.

While searching the yard in the nine days before finding the ring, I smoked 7 different types of cigars, Gurkha, Alec Bradley, Rocky Patel, Cohiba, Oliveros, Perdomo, and La Flor Dominicana, and consumed 12 different kinds of beer, to name a few of them, Samuel Adams, Fat Tire, Arrogant Bastard Ale and Stone Brewery. The wife was totally okay with watching the kids (ages 3 and 6) an extra two hours a day, seeing that it involved finding such a precious item, my wedding ring. I, in turn, was having a quiet party in the front yard every day with our puzzled neighbors looking on.

Then it happened. On the 9th day, ten seconds after the earphones buzzed loudly, the ring was again on my finger. Three more steps and I would have been through the front door and in the house, proudly displaying my wedding band to the wife, enjoying her adulation.

Instead, I promptly walked around to the back yard, threw the ring into the back woods, opened an Arrogant Bastard Ale, lit up a Nub, flipped the switch on the detector and started searching again. Trouble was she watched all this. It took me nearly three weeks to find the ring again and this time without the cigars and beer. What a nightmare!

Sencillo Double Robusto

2011-11-12T17:23:56Z

Mr. Keith K. Park, creator & CEO of Prometheus lighters and God of Fire cigars, casually handed me his new cigar, Sencillo Double Robusto, during an evening of cocktails at the Omni Hotel in downtown Los Angeles. Cigar Rights of America had just wrapped up a meeting at Congresswoman Roybal-Allard's office to enlist her support for exempting premium cigars from FDA's regulation (HR 1639); Keith and three others had attended (myself included) and decided to decompress after by lighting up at the Omni. The spicy creamy flavor of the Sencillo double robusto took me completely by surprise.

The Sencillo Double Robusto was made by Camacho's acclaimed blender Christian Eiroa in Honduras for Keith K. Park. You can read more about Christian at Stogie Fresh, published by Mr. Doc Diaz. The blend is a Puro, made entirely from tobacco grown in Honduras, with the wrapper, binder and filler all from the Habano de Jamastrran tobacco leaf.

All of the Sencillo cigars have been described having a rich, spicy flavor with allspice, cinnamon, and being slightly creamy. I did get mild spice and some sweetness, and would categorize this stick as being medium in flavor. The stick burned perfectly, requiring mo touch ups and dished great flavor for a full 40 minutes or so. If you smoke three cigars during the evening, this stick is your first, best just before dinner and nicely paired with sipping rum. The stick can be purchased directly from the authorized Sencillo dealers for just under $8 per stick

Gran Habano Azteca Fuerte Double Maduro Torpedo.

2011-10-15T17:52:54Z

There are three key things one always brings up when reviewing cigars, which are construction, blend and flavor. Most cigar reviewers tend to suffer from analysis paralysis. One example? Reviewers who draw on a cigar pre-light and feel the need to tell you about it's flavor. Have you ever cared how a pre-light draw tasted? Pre-light flavor is always the same with one of one of two tastes; moldy or earthy (earthy like fresh cut grass on your lawn). Okay, I'm done bashing. Now onto our review.

Azteca Torpedo, all dressed up and ready for the ball. Brass Knuckle Cutter was given to me by Matt Booth, Room 101 Cigars.

Ready for a semi-formal, this torpedo has got to be one of the best dressed cigars I have seen. The construction is impressive, and it's heavy in the hand. There is not one, but two San Andres maduro wrappers; one being used as the wrapper and one for the binder. The blend? Cuban-seed long-fillers from Panama and Nicaragua.

An inch and a half in and still brimming with flavor

The flavor? Medium to full-bodied with hints of coffee, pepper, and a sweet, creamy finish. As compared to the other medium to full flavored cigars in the Gran Habano line, it has that staple Gran Habano flavor, but simply more creamy. This stick is on Tony Blake's top 10 list (Tony is one of the premier cigar bloggers in the country), and after smoking one I now know why.

Most cigar companies no matter how good, have a few "dogs". Not Gran Habano, they have excellent flavor & consistent quality throughout the entire product line. It does not matter what you smoke by Gran Habano, you'll like it. The stick retails for about $6, and you can get them online for less than half that at Cigars International.

What? Your Mom Opened A Cigar Lounge?

2011-09-30T16:14:03Z

It really kills me to write this review, because it's about your mom. Your mom took such great care of you growing up! Now imagine your mom is now running a cigar lounge. Every time you visit, she makes you an espresso, tries to feed you, puts your feet up in a recliner, and gives you slices of Apple in between cigars to cleanse your pallet. Okay, obviously I am not really talking about your mom, but Brenda, who runs Cabana Cigar Lounge in Encino, CA.

What does "Mr. D" above, think about the Cabana Lounge? "Man I miss that place, every day. It is like your first crush. No matter where you are, no matter what your doing all you want to do it get back to her, be close to her and spend your time with her. That place is great."

One Sunday recently, a buddy and I went AWOL on the wives (and we later paid for it in Spades), arbitrarily stopping by the Cabana Cigar Lounge. Brenda, one of the partners, immediately was pushing free Espresso, Coffee, Chili, Hot Dogs, and Carrot Cake on us. Then she invites us to sit on the reclining sofa (there were several), hands me the remote and brings me bottled water. Brenda did not know us from a hole in the wall, yet all this occurred before we bought our first stick.

Operators of Cabana Lounge, who prefer to be just known as Brenda & Chris.

After telling her the Cigars we wanted, Brenda retrieved, cut and torched them for us. Even better, I handed her my credit card from the recliner. Pure Bliss. All of a sudden watching the Patriots get snuffed out in the last 3 seconds by the Bills seemed far less painful now. Brenda's hospitality made the Pat's loss nearly numb. What? Brady threw four interceptions? I lost how much $? Who cares, Brenda had just handed me a slice of carrot cake and the world was a better place. In the other hand was a Gran Habano 60 gauge Corojo #3 Maduro. With cake in one hand & cigar in the other, it occurred to me at that moment that it was the best cigar shop experience I've had, well, ever. I got to have my cake and eat it too. Brenda was not alone in cigar paradise.

One of several 50" Plasma TV's at the Cabana Lounge

Brenda was working alongside Chris, who was just as hospitable. He forced me (how dare you!) to take the best seat in front of the Plasma TV, just before Brenda handed me the remote. It gets better, they were both laughing at our jokes. Could this place be cigar heaven? "We've been here a year and have done zero advertising" Brenda said. Of course! Who needs marketing when you have Brenda, who is clearly the goodwill, or true equity of the business? It really kills me to write this review, because a year from now I'll be fighting ten guys for that remote, and Brenda's attention. No worries, I've got a plan. I'm going to open a cigar shop and have my mom run it.

Better Than Big Smoke?

2011-09-10T03:42:20Z

On a recent trip to Lake Arrowhead this summer during an outdoor concert, I noticed more than a handful of cigar smokers lighting up. I realized that this part of sunny California just may be culturally acceptable as the last bastion for cigar smokers in the state. Light up in public just about anywhere else in California and one may consider donning a football helmet to repel incoming Tomatoes. Of course, there is one exception, cigar event Crush & Roll 2011 in Paso Robles, where non cigar smokers are the minority. What makes this event different is it's relaxing setup, which is a stark contrast to Big Smoke.

Crush & Roll 2010. Relaxed, leisurely fun!

If you've been to Big Smoke, you know the drill; get your ticket book for 20 sticks, grab your tote bag and rush to the lines that can be 200 people deep. As for the quiet, peacefulness & tranquility that comes with lighting up, you'll find none at Big Smoke. Most of the larger scale events have developed into a similar culture. However, the producers of Crush & Roll (September 16-17 in Paso Robles) have created something entirely different; a relaxed environment which includes wine tasting, cigar sampling, and funding for a nonprofit cigar rites organization and charity. Here is the kicker, this event is attracting wine drinkers who are steadfast against smoking. What?

Lupe Perez Rolls Cigars for attendees at Crush & Roll

In our small group (14 in all) who are attending Crush & Roll, there are 4 people who are steadfast in their allegiance to stop all forms of smoking. They are going because "the girls" have decided they will hang out, sip wine and cavort while their husbands are puffing away. Could such attendees at events like Crush & Roll help reverse the cultural shift which has bastardized lighting up? Maybe. Back to Crush & Roll. What does your entry ticket buy you?

Crush & Roll 2009 early on. Hundreds attended, but no lines like Big Smoke.

Your $125 ticket gets you approximately 30 cigars, wine tasting, cigar seminars, raffles & access to food vendors. More than Big Smoke! What's more interesting is the event itself is attracting more couples and women, unlike Big Smoke, where the only women are paid models. If you are a poker tourney fan, they'll have one for charity Friday night ($50) from 6-11 in Frontier Town in the Pas Robles Fairgrounds. All proceeds are going to Project Mañana, which is a 501(c)3 non profit humanitarian organization working with impoverished children in the Dominican Republic. What? Poker for a good cause? Read on.

Wife annoyed at your poker tourney play? Now there is Gambling for a good cause at Crush & Roll

Project Mañana provides a private education to more than 100 children (preschool-8^th grade); accompanied by a nutrition program feeding a wholesome meal to each child 5 days per week. The organization is funded entirely from private donations (www.projectmanana.org) and it offers a great child sponsorship program. Project Mañana’s founder, Brian Berman, is also a well-know figure throughout the cigar industry and helped form Cigar Rights of America (CRA); a non profit public advocacy organization dedicated to fighting for the freedom to be able to enjoy cigars. Berman serves as CRA’s Director of Membership.

Children of Project Tomorrow

Most of us have heard of CRA by now, but really, who are they? CRA has grown from a five-city Freedom Tour in August 2008, to a 50-state membership. This grassroots organization has SEVERAL “wins” under its belt, including one of the most restrictive statewide smoking ban bills ever proposed (Senate Bill 575); which would have virtually outlawed smoking in the entire state of California and astonishingly used the word "prohibition" in the first sentence of the bill. The use of the word prohibition was interpreted by many as a tighter government control akin to Socialist Marxism. It would have banned all smoking in the entire state, everywhere. They have also tackled prohibitive state legislation all over the country.

Now they have a challenge at the federal level, which is thwarting the FDA from regulating premium cigars. CRA, along with the International Pipe and Cigar Retailers Association (IPCPR) and the Cigar Association of America (CAA) has helped to introduce two bills (House Bill 1639 and Senate Bill 1461); which would exempt premium cigars from FDA regulation (where the legislative intent was to regular cigarettes and smokeless tobacco products, not premium cigars). According to Berman, Without gaining an exemption for premium cigars, the FDA could regulate the premium cigar industry out of business, included, but not limited to:

Ban on walk-in humidors, self serve cigar displays, and mail-order cigar sales;
Ban on all flavored cigars, that are enjoyed by legal-age adults;
Deface ornate, decorative cigar boxes, (often considered an art form) with grotesque images;
Ban on cigar events where free cigars (samples) could be available to legal-age adults;
Limits on cigar marketing and advertising;
Imposition of new ‘user fees' [tax] on cigars, to finance regulations;
Limits on special release and small-batch cigars, due to mandates that cigar blends be submitted to FDA for pre-approval before release;
Limits on nicotine levels on cigars to near zero, severely impacting the flavor of cigars;
Ban on marketing cigar merchandise.

The growth of CRA has peaked just at the right time. They really have their work cut out for them. If any of these issues bother you in the slightest, then for $35 you can join their ranks. You'll not only get free cigars but also receive weekly email update with one-click petition links, allowing you to put your verbal foot in the backside of your local state senator or congressman, letting them know you are steadfast against government control akin to borderline communism.

The sampler to be given out at Crush & Roll 2011. This pack alone far exceeds the ticket price.

So, at Crush & Roll, I get to smoke cigars, drink wine, gamble, feel like I'm committing a sin (playing poker)? One thing is for sure, there will be no tomato pelting on September 16-17 in Paso Robles at Crush & Roll. Well done! See you there!

Jani Lane & Meeting Whitesnake

2011-08-23T15:38:26Z

I was saddened by the recent news of the death of Jani Lane. News I heard while toasting the foot of a Crown Jewel Belicosa preparing for a good smoke. Jani was Warrant's lead vocalist, a high powered long haired metal band during the 80's and 90's, and his music was part of my collection. Tugging on the Belicosa, it reminded me of my own frivolous youth during the long haired metal rock band era, recalling a cigar connection with Warrant, and also meeting the members of Whitesnake.

Tribute To Jani Lane at Key Club in Los Angeles

Warrant's video, a song called "Where the Down Boys Go" and it's story personified what I call malicious capitalism. In the video, the group heads into a nightclub named after the song. Just before entering the club, they pass a homeless man standing over a fire burning in a barrel to keep warm. Inside the club, as the band begins playing for free, the homeless man sheds his torn clothing to reveal an evil grin, sporting a gray pin striped suit, lights up a Churchill and begins to collect money from all the patrons as they enter the club. By the time the video is over, he's lined his pockets with piles of cash, and makes off just as the song ends. Oh, and he'd smoked that Churchill until it was a tiny little nub, and you could tell he loved it.

One can not mention Whitesnake without mentioning Tawny Kitaen

I got a kick out of this because in 1989 cigar smokers were a smaller fraternity. I really took note because this was just before the cigar boom of the early to mid 1990's, so if anyone anywhere was smoking a stick, it got my attention. The loss of Jani Lane also reminded me of a chance encounter with the band Whitesnake at a Studio City Sushi bar in 2003. My girlfriend (at the time) and I were waiting for the valet when we noticed David Coverdale, the lead singer getting his car, with the rest of the group standing behind him. He was talking to a girl on his cell phone, telling her he left a key for her at the front desk and to take a Jacuzzi and enjoy herself until he got there. Listening to this, one could not help but wonder if it was Tawny Kitaen, who was made famous from dating David Coverdale. I asked who I thought was Tony Aldridge, the Drummer if the whole group was present. They were all there. He said "We've just had a reunion meeting and were discussing going on a reunion tour." Smiling, he continued, in nearly a whisper "...personally, I don't think is going to work" and let out a chuckle. We exchange further small talk until his car arrived. That was it. Now that I've shared both the Whitesnake encounter and Warrant cigar connection, so it's time to get back to the Belicosa review.

Whitesnake's David Coverdale

The Crown Jewel Belicosa is Dominican, with the Wrapper & Binder from Ecuador. Construction of this stick was as good as I've seen, and so was the toasting. There was some spice and toast on the draw, and it was delicious. This stick was recently given a 91 rating by Cigars In Review (www.cigarsinreviewmagazine.com), and described as having "...hints of white chocolate and tasty mellow flavors. A well made cigar with consistent flavor." The stick itself was unusual in that it lasted a full 2 inches before it started to burn on me. Most cigars even begin to burn after an inch. The guys who’ve been around much longer than me explain that this is an affliction called a "sensitive palate." Any cigar that tastes good and lasts so long is well worth its weight in gold, and the Belicosa is no exception. These sticks retail for $8.65, and can be found at www.crownjewelcigars.com.